Need
by 11oyd
Summary: Oneshot. James is leaving, and Lily doesn't know how to stop him.


**A/N:** Written for the QuillIt challenge on lj. **Prompt #2 Need.**

He was leaving, and she couldn't say a damn word to stop him.

The silence was thick and heavy, resting down on her shoulders like a lead blanket, smothering her. It filled her lungs with an undeniable sickness, slowly killing her. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out, not even a croak. Her attempts to speak were useless it seemed.

Should she jump up and run to him?

Her muscles were frozen solid, held still by the thousands of rejections she had dealt over the years. Fate was laughing at her, no doubt roaring with amusement that she was letting go of the one thing she had always strained to push away.

His hand had touched the doorknob now, and she felt her heart leapt into her throat at the hesitation she saw there. He was waiting for her to say something and she couldn't.

She could feel the need move through her, sending a rush of heat soaring through her, and she jerked free of her mental restraints, pushing up out of the chair, and walking towards him. She felt as if she was moving in slow motion, or maybe, as if the world was going extra fast and she was just too slow to catch up. But that wasn't right; Lily Evans had never been too slow for anything. Especially simple things like talking and walking and - how did one breathe again?

"James," she said, gasping the word as if it alone could cure her of this horrid disease. She clutched his arm, tugging him around to face her, and looking up in his hazel eyes, unaware of the pleading in her own. "James, wait."

"Wait?" he asked coolly, his expression distant and unattached. "For what? You want to yell at me some more?" He turned now, moving closer to her. He towered over her, his face growing dark. "You think you have anything else left in me to break? You must think you're pretty damn fantastic, don't you, Evans? Now you can go and tell all your friends what you did to poor little James Potter --"

"I _need_ you," she said, her voice catching on the middle word, the most important word, and breaking. Her hand tightened around his arm, and she avoided his gaze, her lower lip trembling. Her eyes burned, and she swallowed tightly, resisting the urge to be sick.

"You what?" snarled James, jerking his arm out of her grasp brutally. His hand was still on the doorknob, and he twisted it slightly, preparing to open it. "Well, guess what, Evans. It's too late for that, because _I_ don't need _you_ any more."

She let out a weak sob, her arms wrapping around herself in a protective embrace, and she twisted her head away from him, her dark red hair falling over her shoulder and covering her face. Her legs quivered dangerously, and she wondered idly if she was about to faint. It didn't seem to matter; no one would be there to notice her fall if she did. "James - James, I'm sorry. I - I didn't know what to do."

She felt the tears slide down her face and did nothing to stop them. "Please," she whispered, closing her eyes.

"How could you do that to me?" he demanded bitingly, and she felt a brush of wind hit her face as he paced vigorously in front of her. "After what happened - I thought you had changed! _I_ changed. For you. And you - you didn't even care."

She moved her arms, burying her face in her hands and cried, unable to help herself. Her world was crumbling right in front of her and there was nothing she could do to stop it. "I was stupid, James. I didn't know - didn't know--"

"Didn't know what?" snapped James, stopping in front her. She could practically feel the heat of his anger hitting her. He was a man with a broken heart.

"Didn't know… how much I needed you."

"Do you -" his voice sounded strained, and she flinched against her hands, "-do you even know how much you've put me through? How much I've wanted to be with you? And after all this… you're dangling it right in front of my face. After I've given up, after I've decided never to talk to you again, you go and do something like this. How do I know that you won't just change your mind again?"

She wrenched her head out of her hands, her eyes wild with desperation, and grabbed fistfuls of his shirt, yanking his face down to hers. She met his lips with hers, pouring out her passion, and sorrow, and utter need into that single kiss. She tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled away slightly, her eyes still closed, her lips barely brushing his. "I will _never_ change my mind."

His hands had moved to rest on her waist, and he drew her closer, his arms wrapping around her warmly. He buried his face in her hair, his lips pressing to her hair again and again. _"Never?"_

"Never," she promised.

* * *

Lily/James FTW. Expect more.


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